Chapter 7. Matter of the Past
Matter of the Past
I was not angry with Yuying's ‘tongue slip’. However, hearing this matter indeed made me surprised.
Wei Tan was twenty-five years old this year, and over these years, he had never married, I had never heard of him having any concubines either. I used to be confused by it but did not know about his path with Empress Xu.
My train of thought started to expand.
Was this all because of Empress Xu? Wei Tan wholeheartedly liked Xu Ping, but Xu Ping had married the Emperor, hence his liver and guts cut to pieces and was heartbroken to the point he remained unmarried all these years, but at the end smashed a cracked pot and married me, a woman of second marriage?
I tried hard to recall what it was like at the wedding ceremony. Wei Tan drank so much that he was unable to consummate the marriage. The next day, his expression was as usual, and when he spoke to me, there was only slightly more familiarity than passerby…. Now upon thinking about it, all these small hints and clues were indeed very thought provoking.
Most importantly, how did Wei Tan view his old lover, Empress Xu?
That night, I lay on the bed with the quilt in my arms, as my eyes looked at the swaying shadows of the trees, somewhat lost in thought.
Actually, I was thinking of another person, the person who waited for me for many years but in the end did not want me.
He was my ex-fiancé, Pei Qian.
By the world’s definition of a beautiful man, first and foremost, one’s complexion had to be soft and pale, and the eyes had to be warm and moist. Overall, the person’s appearance had to be like a piece of jade, pleasing both the heart and eyes.
And these conditions, be it my previous or current husband, would not be relevant at all.
But Pei Qian was such a person.
He was literate at the age of three, capable of poetry at the age of seven and by twelve, he was known for his good appearance and eloquent mouth in Chang'an. When people mention Pei Lang of the TaiShi family, there would be an expression of elegance on their faces.
My Father and Pei TaiShi were good friends, thus there were many interactions between both families. At the Festival of the Flower’s Birthday when I was five, I saw flowers on the corner of Pei Qian’s clothes and reached out to pluck it as I had liked it. The whole time, Pei Qian was in a sorry condition after I messed with him, however the adults were laughing happily. Mother carried me up and joked with Pei Mu, “Ah Jin likes your son so much, why not let your son be my family’s son-in-law.”
It was one sentence of joke, but both families became exhilarated, and with a toast during the banquet, Pei Qian, who was six years older than me, became my fiancé.
I really liked this fiancé who came from a joke, as he had a good temperament. He would not rebuke when scolded and would not retaliate when was hit. He had a wealth of knowledge and would also bring me to catch crickets. From when I was five, I learned to call “Ah Qian, Ah Qian” as I followed behind him and let him bring me out to play.
There were advantages of being famous since young, as he had gotten his headgear at the age of seventeen, and got his courtesy name, Jiyuan. Since then, others have called him “Jiyuan GongZi.”
I was the only one who continued calling him ‘Ah Qian’. No matter if it was in front of others or not, Ah Qian belonged to me alone.
Pei Qian was well known and there were countless people who admired him. Many people were jealous of me because of this, and even Yuying and the other noble girls who played together would often discuss in private that I am incompatible with Pei Qian.
In fact, it indeed seemed a little incompatible.
When Pei Qian’s talent started to weave through Chang'an, I was still a little girl and would not even reach his shoulders when I stood beside him. Even though my period came afterwards and my features had blossomed, when standing next to Pei Qian, I still looked like a little girl.
However I did not think it matters as growing up was something that was far-fetched with me. Even if I did not grow up, Pei Qian would definitely stay by my side.
He would burst out laughing uncontrollably when he saw me trying to be unique with my ingenious mismatched clothes.
When he listened to me rambling on about borrowing his favourite white horse to pull the carriage, he would show a disdainful expression as he rolled his eyes at me.
When he heard that I had sold the plum bottle for 150 Qian (coin), he would also shake his head at me resentfully for falling to meet his expectation and knock my head with his knuckles, “Silly girl. That plum bottle is worth more than 150 Qian (coin). there would be people fighting for it even if you sell it for 10 Jin(gold).
On New Year’s eve, he would lock himself at home to carefully engrave two identical peach wood charms, one for him and the other for me. On the surface of the peach tally, there was a “嫤(Jin)” and “潜(Qian)” word carved together.
He hugged me and whispered helplessly into my ear, “Ah Jin, quickly grow up, alright?”
………….
However in the end, he did not wait for me to grow up.
When I was fourteen, Father’s difficulties in court had gotten bigger and more serious and the situation turned perilous. Pei Qian’s father made a prompt situation and personally came to the residence to call off the engagement. Not long after that, Pei Qian married another noble family’s lady.
On the day of his marriage, I purposely stood on the path that he would pass and watched as he led the bride’s carriage over. When he saw me, he did not hide the shock and complicated feelings in his eyes as his handsome and elegant face became stiff and pale.
I remembered staring straight at him with eyes full of tears. At that time, I had looked at him with hope in my heart that he would jump off his horse and hug me as he apologised, “Ah Jin, I was wrong, don’t be angry. I only want to marry you…” But he did not do it after all. He turned his face to the other side and became unfamiliar, as if I was just a passerby.
In the end, even Ah Yuan could no longer tolerate it and scolded, “ungrateful villain!” as she pulled me away.
I closed my eyes.
For so many years, I deliberately did not think about it, but when one occasionally touched upon it, even if it was just a little bit, it made my heart very uncomfortable.
Forget it, it's all matters of the past….. I whispered to myself, just like what my mother said back then.
*******
“Just now my brother came to tell me that FuQin can now cook for himself.” The next day, Ah Yuan said to me with a smile on her face, “He also said that FuQin refused to let him stay in the house and look after him, so he ordered my brother to go out and look for things to do.”
“Oh?” I nodded. “That's good news.”
Before Li Shang had entered the Fu residence, he was the manager of a large merchant place in Jiangnan and was talented in managing goods. However that merchant was a compulsive gambler and had lost all his wealth and thus sold Li Shang and the rest of his servants.
I once inquired about the housing and daily expenses of the households in Yongdu. I roughly calculated, the gold given during our last meeting would probably have been used up by now. Thus, I took out 300 Qian (coins) from my box and handed it to Ah Yuan.
“Ah! Don’t, don’t!” Ah Yuan became anxious and her face flushed, “Furen, I didn’t mean to ask for money. FuQin forbids us to accept Furen’s property anymore.”
I smiled, “This money is not just for you. Pass this to your father and after he recovers from his illness, request him to take a look at what business is suitable in Yongdu.”
“Business?” Ah Yuan was stunned, “What kind of business does Furen want?”
“Anything will do.” I said, “As long as it is dependable and able to make profit out of it.”
“Furen wants to make money?” Ah Yuan widened her eyes in surprise, looked around and suddenly whispered, “Furen, this is not Chang'an.”
“I know.” I raised my eyebrow, “So what about it?”
She was referring to the past matters in the Fu residence.
The sons of the Fu SiTu were all educated and resourceful and would be able to spout literary works with great magnanimity. However not many people knew that his youngest daughter disliked studying and her literary talent was average, but instead had a special liking for those noble scholars who would not spare a glance at money and wealth.
When I was five, Li Shang had once brought the household account book for Mother to see. I was at her side seeing all those vertical bars of numbers and felt very interested, asking questions after questions. From then onwards, every time Li Shang came to hand over the account book, I would definitely be present. When I was twelve, Mother had already thrown the account book that gave her countless headaches for me to check.
Later on, I felt that account books were not addictive enough and would often come up with ideas to collect Older Brothers’ and my old things that were no longer used and sneaked out to the market to sell. This was an immensely gratifying thing. It was not because I was making money but because when selling things, there would always be bargaining, which was immensely fun. At times, I would be overjoyed for the entire day if I earned an extra two Qian (coin).
My older brothers were dissatisfied with my hobby and my eldest brother once threw away all of my abacuses in a fit of anger. I ended up feeding laxatives to his precious Ferghana horse and he made a fool of himself during a scenic tour. However, Father was very tolerant of me. When my Eldest Brother complained to him, he said with a smile that the family lacks nothing except for one who knows calculations and that now it was completed.
Those years ago, I was so encouraged by Father’s words that my tail was raised towards the Heavens. I even planned to target those women that admired my Older Brothers and sell opportunities of an encounter or outing with them and would charge them 300 Qian per person each time. Unfortunately this thought was still at its infancy when the Late Emperor’s knife fell towards my family, hence this idea would stay just as an idea….
Ah Yuan still felt that it was inconceivable and frowned, “Furen has already married into the Prime Minister’s residence and still wants to do these things?”
I did not explain, “Just pass this to your father.”
Ah Yuan’s face was filled with suspicions as she complied and walked away.
Li Shang also had the same reaction as Ah Yuan when he heard what I asked him to do but he did not oppose it. He instructed Ah Yuan to tell me that he would complete it as soon as possible.
After all, it was done without the Wei family’s knowledge, so I was being exceedingly careful. Ah Yuan once served in the Fu family and knew the subtle relationship between the servant and master family and thus handled it very cautiously. After she passed the money to Li Shang, she no longer went back. From then onwards, if Li Shang had any news, it would be written on a paper and brought into the Prime Minister residence by the servant who brought in firewood and Ah Yuan would go to the kitchen to collect it. For safety purposes, coded words were used in the letters so one would literally be unable to read what was on the letter at all.
Our sneaky actions made me feel nervous and funny. One feared that even if one got caught by the Wei residence people and said that I am a spy, I would not be able to dispute even with a hundred months.
Li Shang handled it very efficiently and after dispatching Ah Huan to wander around Yongdu for about half a month, he sent me a letter indicating his preferences for a few businesses.
After reading the letter, I felt relieved. As this kind of thing could not be written in a letter, that night I reported to Guo Furen indicating my wish to head to the temple at the north of the city to give offerings to the divine beings and also to pay a visit to an old friend that was seriously ill.
Guo Furen knew of the matter of me helping Li Shang to settle down and was somewhat hesitant. However she was one who always believed in superstition and with Wei Jue returning, she would pray devotedly every day. Thus at the end, she not only permitted me, she even feared that I did not prepare enough offerings and specially instructed people to help.
With the permission gained, on the next day, I boarded the carriage and left Wei residence naturally.