Daughter-in-law of a Noble House

Garlic Dew

I looked at Ah Yuan, and my heart sank again. I didn't know what to say.

When she saw my feet, her expression changed: "Are you injured?"

I nodded, then shook my head again, "I twisted it myself."

Ah Yuan looked at me, and tears started welling up in her eyes again: "How did it end up like this..."

I gently patted her hand without saying anything.

Two servants came in, took the basins away. At this moment, I realised that Wei Tan was no longer in the room.

Ah Yuan unwrapped the bundle she brought and complained, saying, "Furen, you must not wander off so recklessly next time. If it weren't for Da Gongzi sending someone to ask me to pack clean clothes with you, I wouldn't have known where to find you."

I remained silent for a moment before saying, "What about over there...? How is it going?"

zAh Yuan said, "Jiyuan Gongzi returned, and his complexion doesn't look well. The body of that person has been taken away, and Gongzi strictly ordered everyone present not to speak of it. " As she was telling, she was very worried, "Furen, I heard that person was a trusted confidant of Wu Zhang. His purpose in coming to Huaiyang was to take over Gongzi's position. With things turning out like this, could it be harmful to the Gongzi?"

I shook my head and said, "I don't know."

I spoke these words with a calmness. The deed has been done, and I won't evade it. Whatever happens next, I will accept it.

As for Pei Qian, I am not clear about his relationship with Wu Zhang. Moreover, it involves the Wei family, so the outcome could become very complicated. But if it's for the sake of resolving the conflict, I don't mind being sacrificed in the end. I have no regrets at all. If given another chance, Hu Zhen wouldn't even have the chance to utter those filthy words before I kill him.

"Ah Yuan, I'm going back to Yongzhou," I said.

Ah Yuan sighed and nodded, saying, "Furen has made decision, wherever you go, I will follow."

I gently held her hand and after a moment, I added, "I feel like having a drink"

Ah Yuan was momentarily taken aback, but then replied with a nod and got up to leave.

After closing the door, I took off my blood-stained clothes and put on clean ones. Not long after, Ah Yuan brought a small wine flask and stammered, "Da Gongzi said, Furen shouldn't drink too much."

Wei Tan knows that I don't have a high alcohol tolerance. I glanced at the flask and nodded, saying, "It is enough(the wine)."

The wine wasn't strong, so I gave it a try. I tilted my head back and quickly drank it all, making a "gulping" sound.

I once asked my second brother why people enjoy drinking alcohol so much. Second brother said that when people drink, they feel like they can leave all of their troubles behind. That feeling can be enchanting and captivating.

To leave all their trouble behind…

Feeling light and weightless, I lay on the couch, watching as the light and shadows slowly flipped and changed before my eyes.

It felt as if I had returned to that winter of years past.

I walked through the wild fields on the outskirts of the city, taking each step cautiously. The coarse cloth on my head and the tattered clothes barely provided any warmth against the winter cold. Walking alongside me were my father, eldest brother, and second brother, each of them being escorted by a prison cart, heading towards the execution grounds.

"...Dew on the grass, how easily it withers..." The voice, hoarse as if on the verge of freezing, yet still sang loudly, brushing away tears. "...Dew withers in the morning's light, falling again and again. When will a departed soul ever return…"

"Ah Jin!" My second brother, shackled inside the prison cart, with only his disheveled head visible, laughed heartily and exclaimed to me, "Well sung!"

"Ah Jin! Go back!" My eldest brother, his face covered in bloodstains, shouted at me, "Go back!"

I gasped for breath, my voice growing louder, "Whose land lies within the mugwort field, where souls are gathered without discrimination of wisdom or foolishness!"

*The song sung by young Fu Jin conveys a sense of despair, injustice, and the indiscriminate nature of suffering. The lyrics imply that in the face of adversity and tragedy, there is no distinction between the wise and the foolish, as all are subjected to the same fate. It reflects the harsh realities and the longing for justice.

The prison guard escorting the prison cart walked towards me, raising his whip menacingly and shouted, "No singing allowed!"

They immediately changed their expressions.

"Shameless guard!" My second brother kicked the prison cart and angrily retorted, "How dare you! She is a person under TaiHou!"

The prison guard glared at me for a moment, then turned away with a disgruntled expression. However, he swung his whip towards my second brother, and I saw a trail of blood marking a cut across his handsome face.

"ErXiong!" I burst into tears and staggered towards him, running over in a disoriented manner.

"Don't come over!" Father, who was walking at the forefront, suddenly exclaimed, "Ah Jin! Keep singing!"

I looked at his figure, his hair now turned white. I wiped my eyes and sang with difficulty, choked with emotion, "Ghostly fate... Ghostly fate, how it urges and hastens, sparing no lives... No more hesitation..."

Father burst into laughter, and that was the last smile I saw on his face.

He said, "Ah Jin, don't cry, keep living."

Don't cry.

I felt as though I heard someone speaking to me by my ear, just like what Father had said. A warmth enveloped my body, as if they were holding me in their arms when I was a child, whispering softly, "Don't cry…"

*****

Drinking alcohol was very effective. I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up, I felt as if I had slept for a lifetime.

I tried to roll over but felt something unusual with my feet. Looking down, I saw that my injured foot, wrapped like a cocoon, was suspended about half a foot above the ground. Every time I moved, it swayed along with the curtain, looking somewhat comical.

When Ah Yuan came in, I was struggling to untie the knots on my foot. She looked at me and burst into laughter with a "pfft" sound.

"Still laughing..." My voice sounded a bit hoarse. I cleared my throat, ashamed and angrily said, "Why did you tie me up like this?"

Ah Yuan smiled and said, "It wasn't me who tied it up, it was Da Gongzi. He said that you don't sleep soundly at night and might worsen your foot injury by pressing on it, so it was suspended."

Hearing her mention of Wei Tan, I stiffened for a moment. Thoughts of him caused the events from last night to replay in my mind. I looked at my swaying injured foot, remaining silent.

Ah Yuan noticed my uneasiness and also felt a bit awkward.

"Any news over there?" I asked.

Ah Yuan said, "I went to inquire this morning. Hu Zhen's body has already been prepared for burial. It is said that assassins sent by Liang Chong came to kill Si Gongzi, and Hu Zhen tried to save him but was killed by one of the fleeing assassins."

I was utterly stunned.

I had imagined many possible outcomes, but I never expected it to turn out like this.

This plan was probably devised by Pei Qian and Wei Tan together. Liang Chong? Just the thought of it made me find it both ridiculous and laughable. Hu Zhen's death was unjust, yet he would be remembered as a martyr. Would the Wei family still have to put on a show of gratitude and appreciation?

"What about him?" I asked again.

Ah Yuan replied, "There is no news about Jiyuan Gongzi."

I furrowed my brows slightly and nodded.

Ah Yuan looked at me for a moment, then changed her expression to a smile and said, "Before Da Gongzi left, he had the kitchen prepare fish porridge. Si Gongzi even said he wanted to make a carriage for you."

"A carriage?" I didn't understand what she meant, but another thought crossed my mind. "Where did Da GongZi sleep last night?" I asked.

Ah Yuan thought for a moment and said, "Last night, I went back there to pack up things. When I came over this morning, I saw Da Gongzi coming out of the side chamber."

"Oh," I nodded. Of course, it was like that. When I was unaware before, he was already nothing more than an illusion of a husband. And now that it has been exposed, it should continue as such.

*****

I am unable to walk, so Ah Yuan brings water to help me wash up. After eating, Qi Shu came.

He brought me some medicine without saying any words to persuade me to stay, but it made me even more heartbroken.

"LaoXiu has lived for more than half a lifetime, and now that one is halfway into the earth, one had hoped to witness the union of Gongzi and Nǚjun, which would have made my life complete without regrets, but..." He wiped his eyes, "Nǚjun, I still remember those words, the circumstances back then, and Gongzi's helplessness. Over the years, Gongzi has been burdened with guilt towards you... Aiiya, it's all yuannie in the end!"

Qi Shu already has gray hair on his temples. I have always respected him, so it pains me to see him shedding tears in front of me.

"Qi Shu, please don't be like this," I whispered, handing him my handkerchief.

"I am unwilling as well..." Qi Shu shook his head. "Nǚjun and Gongzi, once a couple admired by many, how did it end up in such a situation?"

A bitter taste filled my mouth, and after a moment, I said, "Qi Shu, the relationship between him and me is not something that can be explained simply by willingness."

Qi Shu looked at me and let out a long sigh.

Since I couldn't walk, it was Ah Yuan who escorted Qi Shu out the door in the end.

His figure remained at the doorway for a long time, and I continued to gaze at that spot, unmoving.

Previously, I was worried about how I would face Pei Qian if he came. Now, it seems that I was overly concerned because he won't be coming after all…

The events of last night were like a sharp blade that severed all my hesitations.

I always believed myself to be someone who, once determined on something, could pursue it without hesitation. But now that I have reached this point, why does my heart continue to ache?

"Awake?" a voice suddenly said.

I snapped out of my daze and quickly wiped away the tears in my blurry eyes. Wei Tan had just returned and entered through the door.

"You are back," I said, not wanting him to see me in such a disheveled state. I turned my head away.

Wei Tan remained silent, but I could hear the sound of footsteps approaching me.

I turned around, and he was already standing in front of me.

Wei Tan's gaze fell upon my face for a moment, then shifted down to my feet.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

I shook my head and replied, "Not too much."

Wei Tan remained silent but sat down on the bed and took hold of my injured foot. He untied the knot and unraveled the layers of cloth. His touch was gentle, and my foot felt no pain at all. However, I couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, my gaze fixed on his every movement.

My ankle was exposed, swollen into a large lump.

Wei Tan raised an eyebrow and said, "It's really swollen."

I:"...."

"Don't glare at me," Wei Tan said without any hint of guilt. "If I hadn't treated you promptly last night, the swelling would have been even worse." After saying that, he had someone bring in water and proceeded to soak my foot again.

As I watched him crouch in front of me, adding water and massaging my foot with his own hands, I couldn't help but feel grateful. From last night until now, he had appeared at just the right time and taken care of me attentively. His earnest and caring demeanor, with lowered eyes, was completely different from the enigmatic and aloof Wei Tan I had known before.

Is it just my imagination?

Or perhaps, is he feeling guilty?

I wasn't sure if he had noticed my gaze, but Wei Tan lifted his head.

"Is there something?" he asked.

"The person I killed last night, will it bring a big implication?" I asked.

Wei Tan glanced at me, his expression remaining unchanged.

"Wu Zhang's confidant, sent to guard Huaiyang in place of Jiyuan," Wei Tan continued to move my foot gently in the warm water. "Do you think it has any significant implication?"

But I felt something unusual, "Why did Wu Zhang send someone to replace Pei Qian? Pei Qian and Wu Zhang…"

"I don't know about that," Wei Tan interrupted calmly.

I realized that I had asked too many questions just now, so I kept quiet.

"There's something I'd like to ask you," Wei Tan said nonchalantly. "I'll be leaving in two days. The road from Huainan to Yongzhou is too dangerous. I plan to take Si Di to Luoyang first and then arrange for someone to escort him back to Yongdu." After pausing for a moment, he added, "Will you come along?"

I could have anticipated that he would come and ask about my plans, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon.

I remained silent for a moment before responding, "En, I'll go with Si Shu."

Wei Tan lifted his gaze and looked at me.

"Is there something?" I asked.

"Nothing," Wei Tan calmly replied, taking a cloth to dry my foot.

*****

Since one has made up mind to leave, the next steps won't be troublesome.

Ah Yuan has already packed the luggage, and the carriage's horses and soldiers have been prepared and well-rested. The next morning, after washing up and having our meal, we were ready to set off on our journey.

Wei Tan came into the room, presumably intending to carry me out like last time, but I didn't want to.

"No need, my foot doesn't hurt anymore," I said, pushing him away and climbing onto Ah Yuan's shoulders. I hopped my way out of the door.

We left the house, passing through the courtyard before finally getting onto the carriage. Even though the distance was not long, my chosen "walking" method was indeed quite tiring.

Once I finally settled down, Wei Tan stood by the carriage, his eyes slightly narrowed, wearing a smile that seemed both amused and enigmatic.

"Gongzi!" a servant ran over to report, "Everything is ready. Shall we depart?"

Wei Tan nodded, "Let's depart." With that, he turned around and walked towards the front.

Another day of clear sunshine greeted us as the carriage made its way onto the main street. The people and soldiers of Huaiyang City went about their business as usual. As the carriage procession approached, people quickly moved aside, gathering on the sides of the road to watch the excitement.

Just like when I arrived.

I watched for a moment before turning my head.

"Furen!" As the carriage reached the outskirts of the city, Ah Yuan suddenly exclaimed, pointing in surprise out of the window.

I looked and saw a person on a white horse, dressed in a blue robe, standing by the roadside amidst the lush countryside. Their figure was elegant yet lonely.

My heart sank, and involuntarily, I sat up straight in my seat.

The procession came to a halt, and I saw Wei Tan riding his horse to meet the person.

They engaged in conversation, and from a distance, both appeared calm. However, after a while, Pei Qian spurred his horse and started walking towards my direction.

"Ah Jin," his voice sounded from outside the carriage window.

Ah Yuan glanced at us and tactfully got off the carriage.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then responded, "I'm here."

The wind carried the scent of the sun-drenched grass, and the curtains of the carriage silently swayed.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Is your injured foot still hurting?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore," I replied.

A brief silence followed, and it seemed as though even the wind had come to a standstill behind the carriage curtains.

"Do you hate me?" 

The voice was low, and a sudden surge of bitterness welled up in my eyes, obscuring my vision with teary haze.

Hate? Even though many years had passed, and even though his reappearance had dealt a heavy blow to me, causing resentment, anger, and pain, deep down, I still knew that it was not hate.

Tears moistened my palms as I covered my mouth, trying to stifle any sounds of crying.

Pei Qian waited for a while but didn't receive a response from me.

"Ah Jin," his voice was low and tinged with self-derision, "I have always felt guilty, thinking that as long as I found you again, everything could be made right. But..." He paused for a moment, took a shallow breath, and then continued softly, "I know that life is rarely as we wish. But let me say this. Ah Jin, no matter when or where, I will always be that person, Pei Qian. Do you understand?"

A warmth surged in my heart, but at the same time, the sound of hooves began to echo.

I quickly turned my head and pulled open the thin bamboo curtain on the carriage window. "Ah Qian!" I exclaimed.

Pei Qian held onto the reins and turned around in surprise.

I gazed at his face amidst the blue sky and green fields. He remained as handsome as a precious jade, radiating a dazzling brilliance like the sunlight.

"You..." I struggled to keep my voice from choking, "Take care of yourself."

Pei Qian looked at me, his gaze steady. Slowly, a sense of relief washed over his melancholic face as his furrowed brows relaxed.

He nodded and with a firm "chi" sound, spurred his horse forward, galloping towards the main road.

I watched as his figure disappeared behind the curtain of the carriage. In the distance, I could hear someone calling out, "Let's go."

 The carriage started moving again, traversing the vast expanse of the wilderness, seemingly without an end in sight.

The wind continued to blow, rustling the leaves and creating a vibrant display. Its sound was like the sea, carrying with it a distant song, childish and yet hoarse. 

She said, "Dew on the garlic chives, how easily they fade…'

The phrase "薤上露" (dew on the wild garlic) symbolizes the tender and delicate nature of their past relationship. Garlic chives, representing their youthful love, are depicted with dewdrops, indicating freshness and purity."

晞 (dry/fade)This character further emphasizes the idea of something gradually diminishing or disappearing. It indicates Fu Jin's decision to let go of the past and move on